Charmed Saw
by manystorywriter
Summary: Saw: The Charmed version
1. Chapter 1

Charmed Saw

Prue woke up in a room and slowly looked around.

"Hello Prue." A voice spoke from a loudspeaker. "I want to play a game."

Prue looked confused, "Didn't Shax attack me? Didn't I see a white light? What am I doing here?"

"You are going to be tested to see if you are worthy to live."

Prue still looked at herself in surprise, "I'm not dead! I'm alive! I'M ALIVE!!"

"Um, Prue. Could you pay some attention to what I'm saying? My name is Jigsaw."

"Charmed." Prue replied sarcastically.

"You are a vigilante. Your mother was killed when you were small and now you roam the Underworld to fight evil."

"Wait a minute. I'm helping-"

"SILENCE! I kill you! Anyway, you're wasting your life. Or at least, I think you are. The game is this: First, you have to mutilate yourself with a knife. Then you will see a slideshow of different people and creatures. You must press a button to choose if they should live or die."

"What is the point of mutilating me with the knife?"

"This is a Saw story. There has to be mutilation and blood and gore. Live or die. Make your choice."

"But how exactly do I die if I fail this trap?" Prue wondered.

Meanwhile:

Piper was a normal woman living her usual normal life and walking through a normal alley as usual when suddenly the door to the normal building she was standing next to, had opened. Before she could even blink, she was pulled into the normal building and thrown into a normal locked room with only a normal dim light to illuminate the room.

She looked down at the floor and saw a tape. "Hello Pepper."

"The name's Piper!"

The tape continued, "You are a Charmed One. Everyday and every minute of your life, you are attacked by demons, warlocks, and lots of other normal enemies. The Elders are of no use to you and your children are too normally powerful and can easily be corrupted. Even though all this normally happens, you are very unappreciative of your life, Pepper."

"It's Piper! And I think you're getting everything mixed up."

"SILENCE! I kill you!" The recording on the tape interrupted her...somehow. "As I was saying before being interrupted, I want to play a normal game. In the next normal room, there are bodies of demons, witches, whitelighters, warlocks, muses, mermaids, Bigfoot, Nessie,..."

Piper woke up an hour later as the tape finished, "oompa-loompas, vampires, werewolves, my mother-in-law, and basically everything else non-human. The normal key to the exit door is found in one of the bodies. Live or die normally. Make your choice, Pepper."

In a strange room:

Phoebe woke up in a strange room.

"Hey! This room has a TV!" She picked up a remote.

The TV suddenly came to life, revealing a creepy looking puppet, "Hello Phoebe. You have been very unappreciative of your life -"

"BORING!" Phoebe changed to another channel.

"Bye bye Tinky Winky! Bye bye Dipsy! Bye-"

The channel suddenly changed back to the puppet. "I was in the middle of talking to you and-"

"How did the TV change channels by itself?" Phoebe changed the channel again.

The TV changed back to the channel with the puppet. "Stop doing that! I am Jigsaw! I want to play a game!"

"Cool! 20 Questions?"

"No."

"Clue?"

"No."

"Checkers?"

"NO! Not those kinds of games. You are very unappreciative of your life. Especially your love life. See the exit door before you?"

Phoebe looked at the door shaped like a heart.

"There is a knife in front of you. The key to the door is in your heart. Literally."

"Wouldn't that kill me?"

The puppet simply stared at her. "Live or die. Make your choice."

"I think perhaps I should live."

The puppet just continued staring at her.

In another room:

Paige found herself in a very bright room filled with many lights. "The light! It burnssssss..." She hissed, trying to pull her brown hair to the front of her face to cover her eyes.

"Hello, Paige." A voice greeted her.

"Is this death?"

"Um, no. You're just in a room with lots and lots and lots of lights."

"Oh."

"But since you're half-whitelighter, you might be considered half-dead."

"Hey!" She pulled back her red hair and tried to glare at the direction of the voice. Unfortunately, the light was still too bright; so once again, she covered her eyes with her blonde hair.

"I'm just saying a theory. Technically, your mom was a necrophiliac."

"Gross!"

"Besides, you're paler than Dracula."

"Dracula doesn't exist. It's just a story."

"I want to play a game, Paige."

"What are you, a Jigsaw-wannabee?" She ran her fingers through her black hair, frustrated at what's going on.

"I AM Jigsaw."

"Oh. I didn't know you were real."

"Your game is this: Before you are three poles. The puzzle starts with ten razor sharp disks neatly stacked in order of size on the first pole with the smallest disk at the top. Your task is to move the entire stack onto the third pole with your bare hands. Only one disk may be moved at a time and no disk may be placed on top of a smaller disk. If you use any kind of magic, you will get an electric shock. If you don't solve this Tower of Hanoi puzzle in time, an ultraviolet light lamp will shine on you and burn you to a crisp."

"Ultraviolet light burning me to a crisp? I'm not a vampire. Why am I even here? What did I do?"

The voice ignored her. "Um. Live or die. Make your choice." The voice quickly disappeared.

An angry Paige looked ready to rip out her black and white checkerboard-colored hair.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Each sister opened the door and walked into another room. They suddenly came face to face with each other and hugged each other happily.

"Prue!"

"Paige! Wait, why is your hair green?"

"Phoebe!"

"Pepper!"

"That's Piper! Anyway, Paige!"

"Prue!"

"Paige! Wait, why is your hair-Did your hair just change color again?"

"Phoebe!"

"Phoebe!"

"Um, Phoebe. Why are you yelling out your own name when greeting us?"

"Oh. Yeah. Good point."

Paige asked, "So how did you escape your traps? My hands are bleeding from holding razor sharp disks."

"My task was easy," Piper replied. "I just had to cut some bodies to find a key. I found it in the mother-in-law's body."

Prue boasted. "I just had to mutilate myself first and then decide if someone should live or die. I sentenced all the evil ones to death and the good ones to live. People are either good or evil. It was an easy task."

"I had to cut into my heart to find a key." Phoebe replied.

The sisters looked at her alarmed. "How do you even survive something like that?"

"It's just a flesh wound."

"You've been dying to say that all this time, weren't you?" Prue asked.

Phoebe smiled, "Yes." Then she fainted from blood loss.

A gas suddenly filled the room and the other sisters also fell unconscious. They woke up in a room with chains around their feet. Prue saw a tape recorder and pressed PLAY.

"Hello. I want to play a game... Hello. I want to play a game... Hello. I want to play a game..."

Prue hit the tape recorder, "I think this thing is broken."

"Um. Sorry about that." Jigsaw's creepy voice came from a loudspeaker in the bathroom. "I'll give your instructions right now. You are all in chains. You must escape them and get out of this place or...your husbands will be killed!"

"No! We have to save them!"

"What would happen to the family if Leo dies?" Piper cried. "I don't want him to die! Death is bad! We've been through so much together!"

Her mind went back to the time before they got together.

"_Piper, there's something I have to tell you." Leo said._

"_You're a spineless doormat?"_

"_No, that's later. I, uh, wrote a poem about...how I feel about you." He took out a piece of paper and read, "I'm salt and you're pepper. We should belong with each other."_

_Piper stared for a full minute._

"_Y-You don't like it?" Leo asked._

"Wait a minute!" Piper cried out. "He's the reason I got the nickname Pepper!"

"I don't want Andy to die! Again!" Prue cried.

_Prue was on a very tall ladder getting their cat Kit from a tall tree. Andy walked up to her and stared at her._

"_What?" Prue asked._

"_I'm Inspector Trudeau. I have reason to believe you are responsible for the theft of my heart."_

_Prue fell off the ladder laughing hysterically and hit the sidewalk. Fortunately, she was still alive. Kit was not so lucky, but fortunately, cats have nine lives. Unfortunately, the shock of all this happening gave Andy a heart attack and he died. Again._

"Andy died a second time? How did he come back after his first death?" Piper asked.

Prue shrugged, "Do we really care about the show's continuity?"

Meanwhile, Paige and Phoebe were examining the room. "Found anything, Phoebe?"

"I found a box with pieces inside. I think it's a jigsaw puzzle, but I can't solve it."

"A jigsaw puzzle! That's got to be a major clue!" Paige moved over to Phoebe.

Phoebe growled in frustration, "Why can't I get this picture of a tiger?"

"Phoebe." Paige said quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Put those Frosted Flakes back and let's never speak of this." Paige went back to examining the room, muttering, "She seemed so intelligent before- Hey, look! I found saws!" Paige held up saws that matched her shiny silver hair.

"Quick! We must save our families!" Phoebe started sawing through the chain.

"These chains are too thick! We'll never be able to saw through them." Piper suddenly looked at the saws in horror. "He doesn't want us to cut through our chains. He wants us to cut through our feet!"

"What're we waiting for?" Phoebe started moving the saw back and forth eagerly.

Piper screamed, "PHOEBE!! THAT'S MY FOOT, NOT YOURS!!"

Phoebe stopped, looking sheepish. "Sorry."

Piper uttered a stream of curses. "You (beep) (beep)!! Can't you (beep) tell my (beep) foot from your (beep) foot? Now I have a (beep)ing flesh wound!"

Prue stopped her, "Young lady, control your temper and don't talk language like that. Let's not force the author to raise this story's rating. Speaking of which," Prue turned to Phoebe. "You need to wear some actual clothes." Phoebe just stared at her.

"Hey, look! Our keys can be used to open these chains!" Paige exclaimed. She received looks of amazement and disbelief. "What?"

Piper took deep breaths, "I. Am. Going. To. Make. Jigsaw. SUFFER!!"

"Don't be so mad." Jigsaw's voice said through the loudspeaker. "It seems you have escaped this trap. You are close to solving this mystery, because it's almost time for..."

Everybody together: PLOT TWIST TIME!!

What is the plot twist? Will the sisters solve the mystery? Will pigs ever get wings? Will Phoebe solve a jigsaw puzzle? Tune in for Chapter 3. Same website. Same story.

Prue asked, "Phoebe, why are you staring at me with that confused expression?"

Phoebe scratched her head and asked, "Clothes?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"We're finally going to find out what's going on?" Prue asked.

"Yes." Jigsaw's voice answered. Something appeared to be wrong with the sound system.

"Thank God!" Piper cried out. "Hold on a minute! Jigsaw's voice sounded different."

Paige looked thoughtful, "Jigsaw's real voice doesn't sound creepy. The creepy voice is created by a voice modifier. This might sound crazy, but Jigsaw sounded like Christy just right now."

Piper replied, "You're saying that Jigsaw is actually Christy? But we fought her and she was vanquished! Christy is-"

A door opened and a creepy-looking blonde-haired doll on a tricycle entered the room. She greeted them, "Hello sisters."

Piper's jaw dropped, "You!"

Paige stared in disbelief, "Billie?"

Phoebe clapped her hands, "Wow! Look at the puppet's mouth moving and talking! I love ventril…ventro…I love puppet shows!"

Billie smiled, "Congratulations, sisters. You have proven that you are not ungrateful for being alive. You have-"

"I'M GOING TO (BEEP) KILL YOU, (BEEP)ing PUPPET!!"

"Piper, calm down." Phoebe held Piper back, trying to stop her attack.

"Phoebe, why are you protecting her?"

"Because…she is an accomplice!" Billie announced.

The sisters gasped in shock, replying simultaneously, "WHAT?"

"She was only pretending to be dumb…" Billie stopped for a second and slowly turned to Phoebe, "Phoebe. Did…did you just _gasp_?"

"I found it to be a shocking plot twist," Phoebe replied seriously.

Billie stared at her, opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it after being speechless for a while.

"Anyway, this was not something that I expected." Paige commented.

Piper asked, "You find Phoebe becoming evil as something surprising?"

"Oh. Right."

Billie got their attention, "Wait. I'm not done."

Prue sighed, "More plot twists?"

"A Saw parody without plot twists? You're joking, right?" Billie answered. "Prue…during this entire time, you…were actually dead."

Phoebe gasped.

Prue replied, "I was _dead_? All this time? Are you nuts? How does-"

Billie continued, "Paige…I am your mother!"

Phoebe gasped.

Paige stared at Billie as if she was insane, "I'm _older_ than you. How in the underworld is it even _possible_ for-"

Billie turned to Piper, "And guess what, Piper?"

Piper simply stood there and waited. "At least she didn't call me Pepper," she muttered. She turned to Phoebe, "And no more gasping!"

Billie announced, "You don't have a plot twist!"

Piper stood there in disbelief, "I- I don't get a plot twist? You put us through this _madness_ and you don't even give me a plot twist?"

"If you think about it, it's kind of a twist in itself, isn't it?"

The sisters just stared back.

Feeling uncomfortable, Billie added, "You all seem surprised, so obviously these were twist-ish … if there's such a word."

"There could be." Phoebe suggested. She thought out loud to herself, "Twist…Twist-ish…Twister…Twizzlers…"

"Don't hurt yourself, Phoebe." Prue advised. Turning to Billie, she demanded, "Where is Jigsaw? I think Paige might be right. Perhaps I should ask: Where in the world is Christy Jenkins?"

Billie's voice suddenly turned menacing, "What chance does any of you have to defeat the key to the ultimate power?"

Paige noticed something at a corner of the room, "What's that?"

Piper replied coolly to Billie, "Even if Christy did come back from the dead, we can defeat her again. Where is she?"

Paige walked toward the room's corner and said, "It looks like a pile of ash."

Billie's eyes became fiery and Piper stepped back in surprise. Phoebe touched the ash and suddenly had a vision. "Christy! It's Christy's body after she was killed by her own fireball!"

"What?"

Prue commented, "So she _is_ dead!" She grumbled to herself, "Like me."

"The key to the ultimate power is standing right before you." Billie announced maniacally.

Piper asked Billie, "What're you talking about? Christy's remains are lying right there!"

Billie suddenly created a fireball. "I am the key to the ultimate power."

"How did you do that?" Piper asked. "Christy is the key. You're not Christy." At Billie's sneer, Piper asked confusedly, "But-But how can you be Christy?"

Phoebe held up her hand, "I got it! I understand what's going on! You see, Billie was already dangerously disturbed — she had been ever since her sister Christy was kidnapped. In our last battle, Billie had killed Christy with her own fireball. Sororicide (the killing of one's sister) is an unbearable crime--most unbearable to the sibling who commits it. So Billie had to erase the crime, at least in her own mind. She stole Christy's ashes and hid them right here in this room. Even treated it to keep it as well as it would keep. And that still wasn't enough. Christy was here, but she was a pile of ash. So Billie began to think and speak for Christy--give her half her life, so to speak. At times, she could be both personalities, carry on conversations. At other times, the Christy half took over completely. Now she was never all Billie, but she was often only Christy."

Everyone (her sisters and Billie/Christy) stared at her after she had finished her lecture.

"What?" Phoebe asked, "I had a major in psychology. It wasn't that difficult to figure out that she was Psycho. She was simply doing everything possible to keep alive the illusion of her sister Christy being alive."

Everyone now simply stood in the room in an awkward silence.

"So…" Paige started.

"What happens now?" Piper asked.

Billie suddenly snapped into attention, "Oh. Sorry. I was supposed to say something." She cleared her throat. "Game over."

Phoebe: Let's play again!

Prue, Piper, and Paige: No.

Phoebe: How about Jumanji?

Billie/Christy: No.

Phoebe: Let's have an alternate ending.

Author: No.

Thanks to everyone who gave reviews. Hope everyone loved the story.


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